After witnessing the infamous Moldavian Massacre at the end of the fifth season of DYNASTY, you’d think there’d be more on-screen
fatalities with all that shooting and screaming. Turns out the real victims
were the 28.1 million TV viewers who had fallen for such far-fetched but
highly-entertaining crap. Handing them only two deaths (Billy Campbell’s Luke
and Ali McGraw’s Lady Ashley) kind of made a sham out of the whole thing. But who
am I to judge, I, who spew all this filth for your enjoyment on this little
blog. It’s not like I’m an expert in the field or anything. Though in my head I
believe I am. Like I believe the actor who plays Dexter is really this macho
don’t-bend-for-anyone kind of a dude who would break me if he ever got close. It’s
all an illusion, folks. And judging by what we got from that cliff-hanger, a
very bad one at that.
But let’s move on. After being held captive by the bad
guys for a couple of episodes, one of which actress Joan Collins is a no-show
on account of a salary dispute, the Carringtons finally fly back to Denver to
bury Luke (but not Lady Ashley who seems completely forgotten by then). Soon afterwards
Blake receives the visit from his cousin Jason Colby (the so-lovable Republican
Charlton Heston) who wants to merge their businesses but Blake wants none of
that. When he changes his mind later on we bid adieu to Jeff who moves to
California with Jason to star in his own series THE COLBYS (more on that one in
an eventual blog entry). 
Krystle finds herself in a bind when she’s kidnapped
by Sammy Jo’s posse which really consists only of debonair Joel played by a much
tanned George Hamilton. The other member is none other than Evans herself
portraying Krystle’s doppelganger Rita; so we have a solo act here if not
counting Sammy Jo. The plan is for Rita to impersonate Krystle who’s the executor of the will from which Sammy Jo has
inherited tons of cash left by her late dad Rock Hudson. Of course the plan goes awry and we are treated to a
final showdown of the two Krystles going at it in a catfight. My reaction to
this overall storyline: I’m sure it was better on paper than what we got on
screen.
Ever since Amanda got hitched to prince Michael of
Moldovia (“Amannndaaa!”) everything
else is all sunshine and roses—not. She’s still as gloomy and wooden as ever
and still holds a torch for Dex whom she finally beds. When Mama Alexis catches
them in action, well, let’s just say that a three way is out of the question.
Besides, it just gives her more reasons to focus on destroying Blake, with the
help this time from his little brother Ben who despises him as much as she does.
Speaking of love-hate relationship, Steven is stuck between
a rock and a hard face when he meets rugged but oh-so dull Bart, a senatorial
candidate who secretly has the hots for him. It takes a few more episodes for Bart
to finally admit his attraction. Those hoping for a man on man action between
the two (besides a rumble) will be highly disappointed however since the
producers of DYNASTY still refuse to make Steven a total ‘mo. Instead the
storyline goes kind of nowhere and we are left with a boring subplot involving
politics and the many schemes of one Adam Carrington.
Now that Dominique Devereaux is truly accepted as a Carrington
(she is Blake and Ben’s illegitimate sis) she is rarely seen until the writers
make her fall for Garrett, Jason Colby’s lawyer. The two had a fling back in
the day and now that he’s a widower they’re more than ready to rekindle their
relationship. When he finds out he’s also a dad to Dominique’s teen daughter he
proposes, but on the night of their engagement party Dominique breaks off with him
when she learns (from Alexis whom she gladly slaps) that he has lied about
being married before. To that I say, boohoo, but frankly, we don’t need
him. Not when someone else is just right around the corner, someone who has little
to do with Dominique but is ten times the show-stopper. I give you…
Caress Morell. She’s
Alexis’ younger sister and she’s the best thing to happen to season six. Her presence is like hearing angels
singing. In fact, I would have had no problem had they changed the series name
to The Alexis and Caress Show because they’re the only ones in this season
who make it all worthwhile. As is, however, her addition to the cast is solely
on destroying Alexis who of course has made her life a living hell.
Besides a mud wrestling bit between Alexis and
Krystle, an in-pool wrestling bit between Sammy Jo and Amanda, a hall and
stairs wrestling bit between Stephen and Adam, and Fallon who wrestles quite a
bit with her amnesia (yeah she’s back and she’s got a different accent), this
uneven season concludes with cuckoo Claudia playing FIRESTARTER with La Mirage hotel, Alexis taking over
Blake’s mansion and getting her neck squeezed by him, and nothing else worth
mentioning really except the possible return of Caress in season seven if the
producers play their cards right. They better if they know what’s good for
them.
Until next post—Martin
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