The instant I saw the hectic trailer for this movie I knew I was going to love it. I mean how can you not? Sexy nurses, girl on girl action, blood galore… All the right ingredients for a sexploitation treat, right, right!? Surely I’m not the only one who so dig this film. But it sure looks that way sometimes considering that NURSE 3D (2013) got panned by critics and moviegoers alike. For what it’s worth, I think NURSE 3D is the best thing to happen since the invention of SHOWGIRLS in 1995. So there you have it.
The premise goes something like this: Paz de la Huerta is the curvaceous and dedicated nurse from a prestigious hospital somewhere in the States (Toronto, really). She has a penchant for hot female newbies and for sharp medical equipment. When she sets her eyes on newcomer Katrina Bowden at the beginning of the film and they party like animals in a hot club later on it not only results in a drug-fuelled sexual encounter with one another but kick starts a chain of deadly events that will probably make you hot and bothered as well. Indeed, before you can say FATAL ATTRACTION for lesbians, our sexy villain does her hardest to make Bowden her bitch. From slicing a guy’s peen to using a surgical saw to punish a sleazy doctor nothing seems to faze this broad (and all in 3D no less, but only in theaters, alas). Her performance is so over the top that even this spectator can’t resist her charms.
Though it was a big bomb at the box office even with the great Kathleen Turner in a cameo NURSE 3D truly deserved a better fate. It was such an enjoyable experience that I wouldn’t have minded watching another 30 minutes (from a less than a 1 hour and a half run). Of course if you’re a die-hard feminist I would recommend passing it up. All the nurses are sexy as hell and the plot is unsurprisingly very demeaning to women (it is written, directed and produced by men). You really have to leave your brain at the door to even enjoy a pinch of it. Since I often do when I’m surrounded by these types of flick, I can clearly attest that not only NURSE 3D is bad twisted fun but has enough of slick production values and nonstop action sequences to render it one of the better films I have come across lately. Definitely cult classic material. Still not convinced? Just give it a chance and you’ll see what I’m talking about. If you have already and was little impressed, re-watch it, I’m sure you’ll come to your senses.
For a while there was a rumor going on that a sequel was in the works, perpetuated by Paz de la Huerta herself. But she has then moved on to other projects while suing the producers for having cost her any credibility as an actress after the release of the film, so I doubt any follow-up will see the light of day; a shame, for I really wanted this to happen. Since I am forever waiting for Elizabeth Berkley to reprise her iconic role in a SHOWGIRLS sequel, I will still hold on to the dream of it happening. Besides, you never know what the future holds. Right, John Travolta, Shirley MacLaine, Sigourney Weaver?
Until next post—Martin