If you were to ask me which screen adaptation, big or
small, I do fancy best I probably would say TVs LACE. Nothing beats this highly
expensive-looking trashy miniseries of 1984. On the other hand, if I had to choose
my favorite big-screen adaptation thus far? Only one title comes to mind,
VALLEY OF THE DOLLS. Oh yes, this 1967 infamous film starring three
unforgettable (not always in a good way) actresses and one mean son of a bitch
of a director (according to many witnesses) is right up there with the best of
them. Mind you, the best for me are mostly over-the-top campy fares such as THE
LONELY LADY, MOMMIE DEAREST, BEYOND THE FOREST. But there’s something about VALLEY
OF THE DOLLS that surpasses them all. Call it stylish; call it gripping, call
it unintentionally funny. Whatever it is, I just can’t get enough.
That’s why when I learned that BAD MOVIES WE LOVE
co-author Stephen Rebello had an upcoming book about the making of VALLEY OF
THE DOLLS I just couldn’t stand still. This film has been my guiding light to bad
cinema ever since I first saw it back when I was still a kid. It was because of
that film that I discovered later on how much involving trashy books really were,
and still are since I go on running this blog decades later. In other words I
was a really happy trooper. I immediately rushed to the NetGalley site in the
hopes that the book would be available to review. It was. I clicked for an ARC
and waited for a response. And I waited and waited and waited. After almost a
month I gave up. Clearly the publisher, Penguin, was unimpressed by my
request.
Then COVID-19 entered our lives. For two weeks my
husband and I were out of it. Suffice to say I didn’t even think about DOLLS! DOLLS! DOLLS! All I wanted was
for us to get better. We eventually did. Then I started to see the book on
social media. The itch to get a copy got to me again. So here I am post-COVID cured
and ready to review this title, which I finally purchased despite having been
dissed by Penguin Books (shame on you!).
I finished DOLLS!
DOLLS! DOLLS! in no time. It was that
good. Like the focused film, it pulls
you right in, starting with a teaser involving a star-studded cruise ship and
the ill-prepared screen presentation of VALLEY OF THE DOLLS. Then it’s a quick
bio of Jackie Susann which, if you have already read LOVELY ME: THE LIFE OF
JACQUELINE SUSANN by Barbara Seaman, won’t be anything new to you. But once we
get into the producing and financing of the film then it’s jackpot all the way.
What I enjoyed most—though it was hard to pick from all the juicy chapters—was
the never-before-seen round-up of the first two screenplays. I have never heard
of them before and was pleasantly surprised on how different they were from the
finished product, especially the first one written by famed-author and first-time
screenwriter for the equally bad THE OSCAR (1967) Harlan Ellison. I really
would have loved to see that version
on-screen.
Then it’s the behind the scene shenanigans surrounding
the many frictions between the stars and the director, and of course the day by
day on-set account of what led to the firing of Judy Garland as Helen Lawson. That
part is harder to take, especially if you’re a Garland fan. The way she was badly
treated was, in my opinion, unforgivable. Then we come to the post production
of the film and the many strategies the studio takes to get it seen. You’ll also
get a kick out of finally knowing the reason why singer Dionne Warwick’s
rendition of The Theme from Valley of the
Dolls was omitted from the movie soundtrack album (copyright issue). Just
like any common sense was omitted when it came to make and sell this lovable but accidentally silly film. But in the end it did have the last laugh, for we are still
talking about it, thanks mostly nowadays to Mr Rebello who wrote one hell
of a book. And praise heavens for that, for I wouldn’t be sitting here and rave
about DOLLS! DOLLS! DOLLS! So do
yourself a favor and get this gem. You’ll definitely thank me later.
Until next post—Martin
1 comment:
Thanks, Doll!
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