They say the first rule to writing good fiction is to
write about what you know. Well, if
that’s the case, UK author Nigel May is one heck of a dirty old man. His third offering SCANDALOUS LIES is nothing
but sex, sex, sex; sex in toolsheds, sex in hotel suites, sex in RVs... Not that there’s anything wrong with that, especially
when it’s as well-balanced as is the main plot—all about the disappearance of a
curvaceous TV dancer and her hottie boyfriend.
Around it swirl a bunch of Hollywood biggies and British wannabees whose
own stories mirror the ones found in every supermarket and online tabloids. Drug addiction, fame addiction, and yes, sex
addiction, nothing is spared. And it’s
fast-paced. So much so that, sometimes,
you almost feel as if the author needs to keep the ball rolling for fear of
losing his readers. But despite of that,
SCANDALOUS LIES delivers. It is as much
fun as binge-watching every episode of a frothy prime time TV series.
And just like many of his characters, Nigel May may
very well be on his way to superstardom. His first two novels were
self-published until Bookouture snagged his third and released all three as
digital books and softcovers. Last
checked, the man was doing really fine sales-wise. I am not surprised. He certainly has the flair for it. Besides, we need another male author in this
female-domintated field. And who better than
an already established TV personality (he’s the host of a home shopping
program, among other things) with a passion for fluff, glam and smut.
The one thing I must bring up right away in regards to
DYNASTY’s fifth season is the constant abuse of Fallon’s hotel name, La Mirage. It is not La
but Le. If you plan on using a French pronoun, use it
wisely. Now on to other scandals: this
is the season where we are introduced to Amanda, Blake and Alexi’s third
child. Yes, they have another one. What
next, a black child? Wait, Dominique’s
already there so scratch that. Amanda
comes from London and wears a sad face—permanently. I guess if you’ve been hiding away overseas after
all these years you ought to be unhappy.
Or is it just that she is bad acting? Anyway, Alexis refuses to acknowledge
that Amanda’s Blake’s child. It takes a
couple of episodes to confirm it. In the
meantime Fallon mysteriously vanishes and ends up dead in a plane crash—or is
she? In real life, actress Pamela Sue
Martin wants out and big boss Aaron Spelling regretfully obliges. Jeff, however, has a hard time handling this,
Fallon’s disappearance I mean. They
were supposed to remarry and he is just devastated, devastated. So against his better judgment, he sets out
to find her. But she’s gone damn it,
she’s gone—or is she?
Alexis and her red gown get out of the slammer after posting
bail. Remember, she is accused of
pushing to his death Mark Jennings from a high rise balcony, but we have a
hunch she’s innocent. And right we are
when the culprit turns out to be Neal McVane (VALLEY OF THE DOLLS Paul Burke)
who has had a vendetta against Alexis for a couple of seasons now. Imagine this: he dressed up as Alexis with
the shoulder pads and all just so any witness (Steven in this case—whose drag
radar is clearly off) would think it’s her.
I wonder if he used one of her wigs. I doubt it. Like her clothes, she must put them under
lock and key. I know I would.
Blake refuses to believe that Dominique is related to him. How wrong he is, for her mom banged his dad
and voila, Dominique. She has proof. He wants none of it but comes to accept it
later on. Meanwhile all this nonsense
puts a strain on Krystle’s pregnancy (yes, she’s with child) and she goes into
premature labor, but don’t worry, the baby’s fine. They even call her Kristina, the poor thing. Let’s just hope that her mom doesn’t force
her to have the same hairdo later on. Huh, wait... On the other side of the mansion, Claudia and
Steven have marital problems. She wants
him, he wants newcomer Luke (who wouldn’t?). Luke wins.
Not before having to confront the wife which would shake any gay
fellow. Speaking of gay dudes, in comes
Daniel Reece, played by the legendary Rock Hudson. He is Sammy Jo’s dad, a millionaire. He has the hots for Krystle and since Krystle
is not too fond of Blake these days, she is tempted. He kisses her one day and all hell breaks
loose, off-camera mostly. This is the
controversial season where it is revealed that Mr. Hudson has AIDS. Has Linda Evans contracted it too? Not to worry, we learn that it is transmitted
only through blood and semen. Unless she
banged the guy in between scenes, which I sincerely doubt, she’s just fine. Mr. Hudson passes away a few months
later. Rest in peace, sir.
This is also the season where guest stars pop up: from
Hudson to MAHOGANY Billie Dee Williams to LOVE STORY Ali McGraw. The latter plays a renowned photographer who
wants Blake but ends up with Jeff instead.
She helps him deal with Fallon’s apparent
death. Just as Luke does with Stephen’s homosexual
urges (yay it’s back on!). But before we
can say happiness the couples are torn apart by the Moldavian massacre (the
what?). Indeed, during the wedding ceremony
between Amanda and her prince charming Michael (whom she has chosen over mom’s
hubby Dex—don’t ask) armed revolutionaries invade the chapel and shoot everyone. Who will live who will die? That, dear readers, the next season answers. In the meantime back in Denver, Sammy Jo is fuming
over the fact that her inheritance from daddy Reece who, like in real life, has
died unexpectedly, is managed by her aunty Krystle. She plans her own attack for season six, which
indirectly states the outcome of Krystle’s chance of surviving in Moldavia (but
did we really have any doubt?). The
season also ends with the revelation that Fallon isn’t dead after all. She just changed faces and accents. Gasp and double gasp—not.
