The very first
time I started Judith Krantz’s DAZZLE I got mocked by a co-worker of
mine. It was in the late ‘90s and I was working night shift—not by
choice, mind you—and the second I took the day-glo yellow paperback out of my
backpack, she blurted out a big: “But this is women’s fiction...” Meaning
I couldn’t possibly be reading this shit. Moi, a guy. I wish I
could say that I told her to fuck off with her prejudices but I didn’t. I
just remember mumbling something very awkward while putting the book
aside. I also remember feeling the heat rising up my face as I tried my
best not to let it get to me. Of course I failed big time. Here I
was being ridiculed because of my reading choices and it didn’t suit me at
all. I never touched that novel that night. In fact, I got
rid of it afterwards, unread. I bought it back a few years later but it
took me almost two decades to get back to it. Which brings me to this
review.
After charming us
with titles such as SCRUPLES, PRINCESS DAISY and MISTRAL’S DAUGHTER, Judith Krantz
definitely hit a wall. As grand as she
wants DAZZLE to be, it fizzles out rather quickly. Oh, she
tries hard to glamourize us with colorful characters, opulent settings and a rich
narrative but the overall effect has a deep sense of déjà vu (from her earlier
work and other novels on the market) that ultimately verges on boredom. Not that the book is a flat out dud. There are moments of pure joy notably when the
heroine’s former stepmom and power antagonist Lydie Kilkullen steps in. She is one cold beotch, let me tell you. She
makes Cinderella’s wicked stepmother a sweetheart. In fact, DAZZLE is a hearty knock off of the Charles
Perrault classic story (complete with the two self-centered, manipulative
stepsisters). The only thing missing is
the prince that got away. On second
thought, we got that one too. Only he’s a
ranch hand and he’s as clumsy and as bland as the novel itself.
Now the
plot: DAZZLE is the surname of the
heroine (nee Juanita Isabella) and to
her father’s eyes she is Miss Little Perfect. To me, however, she’s just a pain
in the ass; sassy, beautiful, successful as a photographer to the stars perhaps
but still oh-so stupid when it comes to the opposite sex. As much as the author wants to make her
likable with pages after pages of situations and hardships it never reaches that
end, even when Dazzle’s old man croaks leaving her the ranch and part of the
land. Of course she ends up fighting
tooth and nails her siblings (and stepmom) who want to sell the land for condos. Anyway, to make a long story short, good
prevails over evil as in any good sleazy novel should but it hardly matters
since no one really cares up to that point.
The thing I hated
most about DAZZLE is the feeling of having been cheated. Here I was thinking I was investing my time
with a sure bet when the end result was nothing but. Despite this realization, I still have
respect for this author. The reason is simple: like Susann or Collins before
her, she paved the way for other big names (such as Gould, Conran, Vincenzi). She made the genre much more accessible and I
respect her for that. Now about those
flashy covers. I know it’s asking for a
lot since I’m not included in the targeted demographics but can we butch them
up or something? It would make my life
so much easier. Though on the other hand I could just buy myself a book cover
or download novels whenever possible on my Kindle and that’ll be the end of
that problem. Or I could just say fuck
them all and still go at it commando.
Until next post—Martin
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