In 1995 we were barely into our third month as a couple, my partner and I. There were already ups and downs between us but the connection was so strong that somehow I knew we were going to make it. The same could be said about our next focus topic, SHOWGIRLS. Yes, as many of you, I knew beforehand that watching this flick was going to be an adventure, but I also knew I would stick with it no matter what. That’s how lovable I found SHOWGIRLS to be. I mean, I live for this crap. And believe me, this one takes the cake. If you have yet to see the film, I suggest that you strap yourself silly, for you’re in for the ride of your life.
Elizabeth Berkley is Nomi, Ninja fighter by day, exotic dancer by night. Follow me on this. We first meet her at some busy highway as she sticks up her breasts and thumb for the ultimate free ride to—where else?—Vegas, baby! She wants to dance, she admits gleefully, but from the looks of things, whoring is more like it. Oh, don’t fret, people. Even a casino bum trying to pick her up later on agrees with me. And as expected, Nomi gets screwed—figuratively speaking—very early into the film. First her luggage is stolen, then oncoming traffic almost kills her and, to make matters worse, chunks of her vomit fill up the screen. Precious, isn’t it? Anyway, she is soon rescued by kind Molly, a seamstress, who can barely thread a needle when thinking of a hot singer of the moment, or so she says. She will become Nomi’s savior, her confident; heck, even her Down-low hook up, BUT it is only suggested, so please do refrain from emailing me about it.
Naturally, a love-hate relationship soon develops between our two gals to the point of one of them getting hurt physically. After whoring her way into GODDESS as a back up dancer, Nomi then sets her eye on the pivotal spot as—what else—Cristal’s understudy. For that, she’ll need the backup of Zack, the entertainment director at the Stardust Kyle McLachlan. What’s a girl to do? Easy. More whoring. In another cockamamie moment you have to see to believe, Nomi and Zack end up doing it in his outdoor pool, and their choreographed intercourse makes Nomi look like she’s having an epileptic seizure. And if that isn’t enough, just after Cristal humiliates Nomi before and during a GODDESS production number, Nomi, in a fit of rage, throws Cristal down the staircase to finally get her shot at the spotlight and—get this—it works like a charm. Only in movies, people.
It all comes down to Nomi finally Winning! but finding that success is barely what it’s cracked up to be; and channeling the Ninja in her for the ultimate revenge against the hot singer of the moment (remember him?) turned rapist who has also beaten Molly to a pulp (it’ll take a long while for this girl to thread another needle, believe me). And just like VALLEY OF THE DOLLS good girl Ann who’s way in over her head with all the back stabbings and dirty tricks to get ahead, Nomi chooses to leave it all for a chance for true happiness somewhere out of Vegas.
Yes, as expected, I’m still awaiting for the next chapter in her life. Surely a sequel is in the works, right? Wrong. Although there have been many rumors to that effect (which include mocked trailers), no follow-up has been given the green light. I guess we’ll just have to go on hoping that Nomi settles down with a good man and has a bunch of kids. On second thought, no freakin’ way. We prefer her all screwed up and ready to go. Remember, she is a whore. Rock on, Nomi, rock on!
Until next post—Martin